sweat and the city

yesterday had to be the most humid day on record. i was sooo hot and sweaty. sweat doesn't just come from your pits you know, its finds a way to seep out of ALL of your body's pores. i had a huge day.

i got my pap and it was the WORST pap experience of my life. i went to the student health clinic, and had an appt with a PA. he is one of those people that can't look you in the eye, but he can look you in the vagina. anyway, he did not ask me anything about my sexual health risk, he did not do a breast exam, he did a bimanual exam, but i know that he did NOT feel my uterus, he did not insert the speculum very well, it was cold and he did not use enough lube and he brought someone else into the room, did not tell me about it, she did not introduce herself to me (at a minimum i want to know the name of the person who is looking at my vag) and did i mention that they did not knock on the door to even see if i was ready. this had to be the WORST care ever. he also did not have a conversation about birth control with me. i am just going to have to talk to his supervisor-- this is unacceptable. i am not going into public health to let these people care for women. he fucked with the wrong woman.

i hung out with my first nyc friend/classmate after the pap- we walked ALL over town, took subways and got an id card. and guess what! i look pink, hot and sweaty in my photo, my friend looks fine, she is from jersey. rahul and i walked her to the subway station at 125th and st. nicholas on the "other side of the park." this park, morningside park (east of CU) separates columbia from the poor, more colorful parts of harlem. the park is also very very shady-- you don't want to be there at night. when the paved path ended, we took a well traveled trail through the park, to get down the massive hill. we found lots of newspaper beds and beer cans, but then we heard this rustling-- i of course thought it was a rat and freaked out, but it wasn't, it was another nyc creature- one i never thought i would see in the wild-- it was a ROOSTER, at first i thought it was a chicken, but no, rahul says it was a rooster. i figured that the rooster had escaped from one of those cock fighting rings, but the indian guy at the bar we saw much later in the evening, asked if it had claws or talons, it didn't. so i guess that it had not escaped. maybe it is a pet to one of the men that sleep in the park? i wonder if the rooster will cross the street into my neighborhood. then i could have a better look.

after the rooster discovery, i went to brooklyn to a friend's party. it took 1 hr to get there, and its only 10 miles away! i reconnected with an old friend and made new friends. i even met a man from my dream country of TRINIDAD! he was wonderful. then, it took me 1hr and 45 mins to get home! i was sleepy, cranky and pissed. so i decided to have a drink. we went to the corner bar, where the bartender went to hs in seattle and bellevue. he was so nice, and we were instant friends. he bought us a few of our drinks. i miss tyler, so i had a dirty martini with three olives-- delicious! i had three of them.

oh my love match didn't work out, one of the parties flaked. but now i have a friend who is dating someone i went to hs with. small world.

again?

the apt is shaping up so nicely. i am still adjusting to everything, but so far its been humid and wonderful. i have discovered that you have to clean everyday in this place, it is so dingy here. i have become one with the swifter

yesterday at penn station i was accosted by yet another nyc rat. we were waiting for a train to nj and needed to fall off our diet wagon to get a slice. i opted for a broccoli roll-- baked dough, cheese and salty broccoli--delicious! as the cheese and butter dripped down my chin, the rat came, scurrying across the floor, it was pudgy and quick, clearly in great health. i jumped, screamed, almost cried. the eastern european guy laughed at me. the others in the "restaurant" were business as usual. i was horrified. two rat sightings and a ill pigeon in one week!

speaking of rats, the small quarters and serious transition, has turned rahul and i into a couple of fighting caged rats. but the recent rat incident, has brought us closer together.

i desperately miss the affordable, accessible organic products. we had to go all the over to nj, drive 20 mins to wegmans market just to buy shampoo, conditioner and dried cranberries. and, its sooo dirty here. i had to invest in body cleanser, a body scrubber, and all this other crap that you simply don't need in seattle. this coast is not only forcing me to sweat all the time, it is turning me into a "girl" i never buy extraneous products. this whole notion of "seasons" is truly upsetting, there are only two seasons at home, rainy and sunny-- and each season is matched with an appropriate sweater. i love sweaters. speaking of knit items, i made a fuzzy pink hat for my niece leila and a super warm gray and black hat for rahul. he looks so cute wearing it. i will post photographs as soon as i figure out how.

and before i turn in, if you are in need of comic relief...
i found this hilarious website today. i was on google looking for fashion advice, even the homeless have great fashion sense here, and i came across

www.uglydress.com

This is a spectacular discovery!

trek to public health

today was my first day at school to handle all my "stuff." i met with the nurse who, when i handed her my immunization papers said, "what is this, this is nothing, you have nothing." i wasn't going to argue. she was still nice though, felt sorry for me i think. she ordered me to the "nice" indoor cafeteria to relax, so that i could fill out one million forms, verifying that i had my vaccinations. i rebelled by sitting in the lobby. and i can't believe this. is this what public health is all about? i can't get too upset with her though, when i was walking around the medical campus, people were sick with all kinds of stuff. there was spit up lung butter all over the streets, amputees with gangrene and the air was filled with the smell of hot dogs, philly cheese steaks, gyros and roasted nuts. it was all so confusing. how can it smell so good, yet everything all around is so bad? it reminds me of new delhi, india. nyc has to be the only place in the US, that is similar to other metro centers in the world. candyland existing side by side with reality.

while waiting at the student health services, i met a fellow student, she was very cool. i heard that half the public health students did not get housing and are couch surfing. we are sooo lucky. the anxiety is slowly easing its way out of my system. i have a physical on monday, with a man. i am NOT looking forward to that.

in the subway today, i met another creature, a subway pigeon. it was scruffy, dirty and feasting on poop and rotting gyros. i nearly vomited. i looked into its eyes, to connect with it, to learn more. i think it had a cataract. are there any services in this city for their population? there are just so many of them being ignored...

the apt is shaping up and should be ready for public exhibition in a few days. our first house guest arrives on the 12th and we are so excited to fill our house with people. i miss that about our old place-we always had great people at our house all the time, and now its just the two of us. kinda lonely in the big city.

we are off to NJ, to see my parents. my mother's parents are coming tomorrow to visit, they will be here for a month. i can't wait to see them. rahul has always wanted to create a cookbook of my grandmother's recipies. this could be the perfect time. she loves, i mean loves the rahooli. its nice to watch them bond in the kitchen.

in gossip news, i set up some friends in seattle, i wonder if it will work out. its one of the best matches i think i have come up with. here's hoping for a love connection.

trauma

i decided to take the subway from times square to 86th street to meet up with rahul after returning from a conference in North Carolina. I saw my first nyc rat. it was on the subway track and it looked...lost. i thought that they knew their way around, that they were able to get what they needed to live. that they knew the tunnels better than the mole people.

anyway, i was scared, totally freaked out that i would meet a rat in nyc. but this rat, menacing at it was, was not what i expected. i thought the rats of the city were huge, furry, mean, fanged, aggressive. this one was plain meek. i couldn't help but flashback to watching the movie stand by me. you know when the boys get to the junkyard and they were worried about trespassing because the junkyard was protected by a dog named chopper who was trained to "sic balls." but finally, when the boys were confronted by the "big huge scary" dog, it was really just small golden retreiver and not very scary at all. well, that was my rat. it still upseting though--i am deathly afraid of rodents, squirrels included.

then after the rat incident, we had to change the cell phones. no reception here in nyc on the t-mobile network, this means new phone and new numbers. TRAUMA i don't want to lose my 206 Seattle roots. now i have a 212 landline and a 646 cell phone. the transition to becoming a new yorker is swift. has nyc sic'ed my balls?

blog day one

finally, my own blog... i have seen others, and have been so jealous, public writings, public pinings and public sharings.

i have just left home, seattle that is, to go the grad school at columbia in nyc. i miss home, but i am so excited about the future about what might come next. people always ask about "the plan," you know, what will you do once you graduate? the reality is, is that i have no idea. i just want to get the most of the next two years, see what doors open up and walk through a few of those doors. who know where they will take me?

not knowing what will happen has provided a strange comfort. a comfort that allows be to be non commital and just be. i feel so free because after leaving seattle, i have the space to be who i am, free of others' ideas around who i need to be or who they think i want to be.

starting over in a new place, with a new apartment is such a luxury. i have never felt this open to possibility before. the energy of nyc is intoxicating and additictive. its exactly what i need, its precisely what i poured into seattle with lukewarm return. i had grown out of seattle, my extended histroy there prevented me from moving to the next level. i am not and was not willing to work with the abortion heads of the 60s and 70s. they lost their minds when they burned their bras. i am bigger and always have been. i lost myself when i allowed their insecurities squash my desire to create a more inclusive vision for reproductive justice. how irresponsible of me to allow that to happen- to lose myself to such manipulation. there is nothing to learn from them-- the time has come to move on inspire. being in nyc with rahul is the place i want to do it. ladies, i'm back!